Julius Cowdrey | Made In Chelsea TV Personality, Founder of Safe Space & Singer | TALK4 EP 085 - LouisSkupien

Louis Skupien and Julius Cowdrey

In this episode we spoke with Julius about his backstory with singing, leaving Made In Chelsea, receiving death threats, mental health, self mastery, founding Safe Space, and more!

 

 👉🏻 Julius Cowdrey is a British singer, songwriter, record producer and reality television personality. Cowdrey is best known for appearing on the reality television show Made in Chelsea. In 2016 he released a single "7 Roads"

 

THINGS WE DISCUSSED:

 

 

00:00 Talk4 EP 085 intro by Louis Skupien

00:43 Who is Julius Cowdrey?

01:27 Julius Cowdrey's backstory with singing

05:50 Death Threats and leaving Made In Chelsea

15:00 Mental Health and maximising your life

23:48 Founding Safe Space 

29:15 Therapy & benefits of Safe Space

31:34 Julius's feelings on helping others

33:40 The future of Safe Space and Julian Cowdrey

35:34 24H cycle


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This episode is available to listen to on all platforms by clicking the link below or visiting the @talk4podcast Instagram Page, following the link in bio and choosing any of your favourite platforms!

👉🏻 TUNE IN HERE 👈🏻


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Transcript

hey what's up guys and welcome to episode 85 of talk for the quickfire podcast where we ask four great questions to unique and interesting people behind the mic today is your host Louis scorpion that's me and let me introduce our special guest for today Julius cowdry who's going to be answering our questions today Julius welcome aboard a talk 4 podcast man just please say hi to the Fine people listening and give us a quick rundown of who you are and what you do and then we'll shoot a few questions your way man so Louis I will firstly thanks for having me on um I'm Julius cowdry uh I am I'm a Founder recently set up a business called safe space uh Global and my profession I guess is mindset coach but released a business that week I'm sure we can talk about further uh but all around self-development helping people uh access high level coaching that's right very cool very cool man I've had a good look at the stuff you're up to it's really impressive and uh can I just say it's it's refreshing as well I had a lot of American guests on recently so it's good to have someone based in London on the show as well on this uh sticky hot Summer's Day in England right now but uh so obviously really impressive career just very excited to dig into that so obviously kind of the usual format guys question one let's just have a bit of backstory then so uh talk to us about getting into singing and your songwriting and how your career kind of progress and you know just backstory us up you know where'd you come from man floor is yours yeah yeah I'm I mean I'm so I'm from the garden of England Kent so south of London um and I grew up in a very sporting family my my dad my grandfather Captain England cricket um and it was sort of this dynasty I grew up with but I and even though I have a twin brother uh and my mum is Swedish so there's a there's a mini um sort of insight into sort of mom and dad and mom was always the musician dad was always a sportsman and my brother my twin brother loved the sport and I just had this pass for music and I was always the thing I always wanted to do and when you get to the end of school and uh and they ask you hey what do you want to do and most people say well I want to go into the City and I want to work this job or I want to study economics or business all I wanted to do was perform all I wanted to do was go straight to London uh and I kind of went against them against the norm really um but I but I wanted to it was it was something that I just wanted to do something different and I wanted to write music and I wanted to tell a story um and I yeah so I I just got really into writing music really into getting better at piano singing always came quite easily to me I don't know why um I guess it's one of those things had an ear for it and I remember my first song I ever wrote was an absolute shocker but um but uh yeah oh I remember when I came to London and I did study a vocal degree um at a university in London and I and I had my I said my friends were like when are you gonna do your first London gig and I did my first gig and it actually wasn't in London it was it was in Epping in Essex and I and I turned up and I had a few love love songs or some you know me and piano some heartbreak songs I've never been through heartbreak but I was I was writing about it because I didn't know what else to write about and there was a there was a bachelor party came in a stag do came you know shouting directly down it down it down it while I'm while I'm singing my songs and that was probably my first failure for sure when I I don't know the only other people watching when my mum my dad my brother um and so yeah I I couldn't the reason I couldn't really get anyone listening to my music I tried and tried I tried to push it out there and then I got the I sort of I got a message from a friend of mine on the show made it in Chelsea um who said uh you know would you would you want to come on the show I'm on the show do you want to come on my name's Liv and uh and I was like I don't know if that's good for my music because I don't know I kind of want people to see this sort of like hard work hard graft musician I want to go through that sort of Journey of having to go through the through the hard legs of trying to be an artist but I spoke to more people in the industry who are really struggling and finding a way to just get people to hear your music I am I ended up just saying yes and just going you know what maybe this is an opportunity so I did the show I released my song seven roads which was my first release um and it went to number one on the singer-songwriter charts which was pretty cool I wrote I screenshotted it it was only there for a day but it was there and it was uh on the iTunes singer-songwriter charts and I had Ed Sheeran beneath me and I had Gabrielle Aplin there three and tomodelle at four I can't remember who was at five probably someone amazing um and it's obviously done on downloads and purchases and the funny thing is I I did a couple of gigs after I think I screenshotted that and uploaded that to my my Instagram or something and my Twitter at the time and um I got introduced to so many gigs as the guy who beat Ed Sheeran to number one and the funny thing about that no the funny thing about that and I'll be as self-deprecating as I possibly can in this because it's Ed Sheeran um Ed Sheeran's song he released three years prior and he's still at number two and I just had a great early surge with the help of the show it's the the thing about the show was you know you're getting over a million people watching it and they were watching it for the wrong reasons when it came to my music but wow I suddenly got an audience I suddenly got people to listen to my music I was suddenly doing packed out shows and I was like this is pretty amazing so it gave me a step and I would never regret that step because it gave me more opportunity and I release more music off the back of it so that's sort of how I went into music and how I sort of I I guess I achieved some sort of success uh in in that really great man no thanks for that because I was gonna kind of touch on the whole uh the whole Made in Chelsea thing and how you got into that so I'm glad you answered that and um obviously kind of like you said there you know you obviously don't regret that because it did so much for the music career but there was obviously like a dark side to that too from what I've seen and read and everything so um you know if we don't mind let's kind of dig into that a little bit then we'll kind of go into uh into where you are now so obviously you know Made in Chelsea you then left um from what I've heard you know it was because of all the horrible amounts of social media abuse you know terrible terrible stuff um if you don't mind telling us about that you know it would really lead well just to kind of like your current Venture and stuff you know where did that abuse start and when did it just become too much for you so I mean abuse was I mean yeah God I'm I'm speaking for the whole cast really and anyone really in reality TV I'm sure who who've received a lot of online threats abuse and things like that I I didn't leave the show because of that that was a that was definitely a Daily Mail article that picked up the fact that I received it and then I'd left at the same time and I think they used the fact that I received the abuse uh was the reason why I left um the reason why I left was because well I'll come on today and say actually the the thing to talk about is the abuse a lot of people received a lot of dark things um stalkers I mean the stories I've had people calling you up on the phone and and and telling you saying what are you doing walking down that street wearing this you know and especially if you're a girl it's much tougher and I've had some some pretty awful things and scary things for me I would just receive constant abuse and the interesting the interesting thing is when you get things in your DMs when you're younger it hits you a little harder when you receive uh unkind comments based on a TV show that's been edited that's been manipulated and you film for an hour and a half and it's only showing you three minutes of it and people are judging your character based on your actions but it's an edited version of your actions and you know I never did anything even that bad on there but I think people judge you because you're on a show like that people people find it's you know and I think the problem is with maybe that was the hindrance of the show is that it comes with that person must be a trust fund kid that person must have all the money in the world from their family um and probably has no work ethic and just gets it all and and I think the truth is I went on the show because I wanted to to elevate my music career I'm definitely not one of those trust fund kids and have to work my ass off to make my own money um and so whenever I would get those comments they frustrated me but they went a little darker the comments for sure like I'll you know I'm gonna find you I'm gonna you know I'm gonna run you over things like that uh with a car if I see you I mean it but the more I did the show the more it didn't it sort of ricocheted off my outer shell when you when you're younger and I'd started and you get stuff like that even though I'd been through you know I was bullied when I was younger I'd been through a lot of tough time tough times at school in fact I had to move school three times because of it um so I sort of had my fair share of tough times sort of with people and receiving sort of a I guess verbal abuse um but when you're when you're getting from people you don't know it's a it's very strange very weird I don't I didn't I didn't really get it um when I joined the show for the second time because I left I had a little interim in between my two stints on Made in Chelsea um I was far more resilient able to take it on um and and realize that actually these people don't know me I've got some amazing friends who do know me and that's what's important those are the people I prioritize and love and actually it doesn't matter what these people say these keyboard Warriors it's just I don't realize I don't think they realize the impact it can create and the sad thing then the worrying thing is I do know quite a lot of people in reality TV and I know how many are struggling who struggle with anxiety who really who really worry a lot and go through tough times and suppress stuff and I would hate for them to be going through a really bad day and receive it and you never know who's on the edge of not wanting to be around I work with clients all the time right I've got clients who are struggling and I've seen the darkness and I've seen what it's like for people to not want to live anymore I've spoken to many people like that and I and there's been suicide in reality TV so people realize the impact of just words it's amazing [Music] it's horrible it's horrible yeah and but yeah man so so that was so that was that was a weird it's just a very strange thing to go through what's what's very strange actually with the show to go back to shows when do you ever see someone saying something bad behind your back oh nice behind your back that's the weird thing when you're watching the show back and you're watching about and you're watching the show and you're like oh it's very strange thing to watch someone [ __ ] behind your back uh you know that's that's a really weird like the show comes with some very strange things yes it comes with the stigma which is the stigma is probably the worst bit it comes with the abuse because the keyboard Warriors will always be there and sadly there there are that they there might be a small percentage but wow they're loud um and but it but what it does give the show it gives you some amazing friendships experiences and a leg up it gives you a little leg up you get you get a following you get an opportunity you get a chance to be able to talk about what you're interested in and if you can use that like you look at the likes of Jamie Lang you look at um proud lock and Spencer like they've all actually created businesses off the back of it and done brilliantly so you know I think I think there's a lot to be said with how you know damage it can be damaging it can be but if you can be resilient and use it to your advantage well then well done yeah 100 agreed man I'll tell you what it just it makes my heart just cry just thinking about people thinking that that kind of thing's okay to do it's just you know Society is at that point where it's just you know how can you even just think that's remotely okay over a reality TV show I just you know that that doesn't I I find no understanding in that I just don't get it I don't see why people come to the conclusion that's okay but you know we're you know that's where we're at I guess and you know people need to do a lot of a lot of healing and you know like some people say it's probably going to get worse before it gets worse at this point right now but yeah so kind of guide me through like obviously you said that that's not why you left though essentially so two questions um why did you actually actually leave then and to back that up did you find there was like a direct correlation in you know the reduction of this kind of abuse in the Social Media stuff and the keyboard you know the haters and stuff um you know did you find that sort of fizzled away when you left yeah fizzled fizzled away to be honest I would just towards the end I would just sort of ignore it and not be too focused on it but it sure if this was a way people are not seeing your face every single day um but I left the show because it wasn't in line with my values it it you know I there's a lot of conflict and I don't I don't think a lot of it's It's hard if you're not in it to see how how tough it can really be the show's based on conflict and and and bitchiness and and and the amount of scenarios I've been in where I'm having to argue with someone to fight with someone I've become very good with conflict but it doesn't I'm not necessarily proud of that I just go it does give you some weird skills to be able to actually um back yourself in moments when you're down you're on your back legs um but but yeah um I left the show because it wasn't in line with what I'm doing you know I'm I'm in an industry now which and I was industry then actually where I want to help people be the best version they can possibly be I'm talking to clients about how conflict isn't the way forward how resolution is the way forward how working on yourself and being the best you can be is the way forward I don't want a TV show which doesn't really promote that at all which is completely the opposite so and and and I'm you know and to be honest also it takes off a bit of time the show and if I'm if I'm serious about being a founder of a startup and actually work in these 14-hour days and driving this business to be the best it can possibly be why would I be filming a TV show four days a week so it became a no-brainer but wow I had a good time and I look back on and with no regrets really well maybe maybe a few regrets but the only regrets would be like a wish I don't know I wish I wish I said a few things differently or but they're silly regrets so probably not in regrets sure man I feel you know the uh you get in the shower one day and it's just like oh God why didn't I say that then I have that all the time it's like just this post regret system out here um I'll tell you what man listening to kind of what you're doing with the whole life coaching thing stuff at the moment what you said there you've got some great morals and I'm just wondering you know is that you know does that come all from you or is that instilled In You by someone or you know where where does this kind of like really great mindset come from do you think it's a good question I I and I I'd love any any of the listeners to have a thing about this as well where do morals come from do they come from I I would like to think morals come from your surroundings um and because I think we're all very impressionable and and we're quite sponge-like in the energy we take in I've got I've got uh parents fortunate enough with with brilliant morals my mom especially she's got she is the warmest and the most loving person I know and she and and she brought me up to respect women she she brought me up to to uh to believe in myself and have have this and have this sort of tenacity about life and and drive and to achieve and believe in myself it was always it was always about that and and so it was I feel fortunate to have been loved from a young age I think but really loved and really believed in um I wasn't celebrated based on my efforts of Celebration sorry celebrated based on winning things or celebrating on efforts you know well done for you know well done for you know just doing it you know I think that's really key there's actually I was listening to a podcast the other day actually on this and it was a parent expert sorry as like an expert on like motherhood and fatherhood and and she said don't ever celebrate your child a winning celebrate your celebrate your child and its efforts because then they'll always want to continue with the effort regardless of winning or not because there's because you need to set your kids up for life right and set people up for life like we're gonna fail so many times I mean I've I've been through a series of different things in my 20s things that I could look back and be like that's probably a failure probably didn't work out I did my best I probably didn't have the drive for it but it probably wasn't in line with what I want to do and now I found something that I really want to do so then I shelve things that don't work for me so morals definitely then I think it's the nurture but then you have a choice whether you really want to follow it or kind of run from it because I think a lot of people sort of discard them and take their own path yeah which is admirable but I'm but I think it's insta it's been instilled for me from a young age that's nice man and um yeah I feel you there actually something I heard the other day actually the other day yesterday I really like the sound of was there you know someone was talking about food and it's like you become what you eat and it's the same thing for what you hear the surroundings the people you're around the energy you're in and stuff and you know you you know what's going into is becoming the temple that is you and you know you want to build that temple with the strongest the foundations and stuff but you know so looking at kind of like yeah go on man hit me with it everything's everything's a diet everything is every every energy we everything is a diet right so everything we experience in our day is going to impact our our feelings our thoughts it's going to affect the way we feel about things if we're surrounded by positive uplifting people that's going to affect the way we feel about things if we're eating of course yeah if we're eating good food look at the way our body changes you know and it's the exact same if look at if you're surrounded by people who are drainers people who are pessimists but we're going to be the next pessimist you want to surround yourself with people who are going to drive their life forwards and be the best they can be God that's going to impact your life more than anything so that was my one tip to myself I always remind myself of is that not tip to others because I'm not living anyone else's life but if I if I had one tip for anyone it would be surround yourself with people who lift you and make you feel uh like you're good enough because you'll start to believe it even if there's a an element of Doubt yeah surgery man and uh yeah I'll tell you what one thing I've noticed about myself as well is just that you know in terms of like Fitness stuff and all that there's a direct correlation between being being good to yourself and actually being like the best shape possible because it's funny like when I was in my worst shape that was a result of eating like crap and that was a result of drinking and lack of exercise and you know and general kind of lethargy and it's funny how that sort of thing like shape and body and everything it's almost like a reflection of this kind of poor choices and lack of discipline in a way but you know when I started to kind of fix all that stuff and started you know recently even got got better at the diet got better at kind of consistency of training and stuff man the difference is just huge it's just it's like it's like you look in the water and you see the reflection that's exactly what it's doing it's you put good stuff in and good stuff comes out it's just that simple right I think it was I wish it was spoken about more as well like all these all these little changes they compound don't they all these little things that I mean how did you feel how did you create so this is one of the things I talk about with clients a lot how did you find a more disciplined state if you were going to if you were eating bad food and drinking and not training enough and then obviously the impact was probably like you said lethargy not feeling very good in yourself I'm sure maybe a bit of ancient anxiety I mean I know that that's how I felt when I hadn't been eating very well how did you get back to being an action taker for you hmm um I think it was when I removed when I removed um let me let me think about how to word that it was when I made rules out of it it was when I stopped making things about motivation and I started making things about routine so it was when I said to myself okay I'm going to the gym every day and that's not negotiable that's not a question that's not a case of how I'm feeling in the morning that's not case of how I'm feeling in the afternoon it's not case of my schedule I'm going when am I going that's the thing so I kind of removed the whole sort of debate out of stuff and I started to just get in the gym every day I was in the gym on Christmas day I was in the gym on New Year's Day I loved it and I felt great about doing it and then I realized we'd kind of copy and paste that into a few other things as well and I think there's a there's a huge amount of power to being able to say no and you know I'm not there yet I'd like to still get better at it I've only just kind of gone on to a bit of a better diet path now um and you know there's been kind of some shakes in the whole gym thing and stuff you know going away on holiday coming back having a couple of illnesses you know there's there's there's some breaks in the chain occasionally but I think if you can kind of invert back to just routine and rules and kind of keep that discipline towards that rather than relying on something that's fleeting like motivation because I mean look stuff goes wrong all the time you know one day you're going to get an email next day something with your parents next day something with your friends next day something in the world there's just an unlimited amount of just disrupters to this kind of stuff so I mean if you can't maintain every single day that that motivation you're gonna have to have something that's Rock Solid to be able to keep consistent I think I completely agree motivation is so fleeting and and what and then it becomes this thing that people go I don't feel motivated I don't feel motivated you're never going to feel motivated every single day it's going to be something that goes up and down and and sometimes you might feel the most motivated at night time you're really pumped about the next day and how you'll wake up at this time and you'll do this thing and I really I firmly believe yes motivation can can be built and but but it's through an action of tools and actually through being disciplined now discipline can come in to create a disciplined State I spoke about this on a safe space seminar the other day there are so many different things you can do right and like you said you create a set of rules is it an alarm is it a reminder is it an accountability partner and to create the greatest discipline is in line with your values is there a great enough desire for you to actually want to do it because I think a lot of people do things with different reasons but I'm going to get really fit because I want to look good for Instagram and I want to look good for that it's not a great driver it's it's I don't think that's going to drive I want to be fit because I want to feel really good in myself and feel more content and I want to and I don't want to feel I want to grow my self-esteem and I want to show up for myself what a driver that is right and that and that will Aid your motivation but also when you need to be disciplined when you're on the dip and you need to improve that discipline maybe just maybe it might push you towards going to the gym and actually showing up true you know what I've I've been going to the gym a lot recently I'm good friends with kind of a lot of people in the gym and coaches and stuff and you know what I've found actually you know they say it too and I see it all the time nowadays is that you know even if you do end up going to the gym for selfish reasons like I want to look this way for the ladies or or whatever you know you what you want to do it for kind of a superficial reason you know what if they still stay consistent with it they are I've found that people people do just fine by themselves that the gym and stuff actually they find something in there that they didn't go out to find originally and that is just like a safe place and just a happy place to feel good and I mean man I've had bad days where I've just gone to the gym and I there's not been one session where I've gone through those doors I can I can picture them right now there's not been one day we've gone through those doors feeling bad and not saying it's all fixed when I move out come out those doors an hour later an hour and a half later but I tell you what I feel better and that can be marginal or that could be you know on the macro or the micro but there is something there that makes you feel a lot better and I think a lot of people will will find that as well um yeah tell you what man um safe space you know can you just describe to us what that was then because we're obviously we're on the subject to kind of like you know all this stuff right now and stuff so you know what gaps did that aim to kind of fill and you know what's this kind of story of that startup and you know what's your sort of uh what's your sort of Need for that do you think okay well safe space is an all-in-one self-development platform um for all we have a two-tiered sort of Target Target towards individuals and businesses but to talk about talk talk about for individuals we have um the reason behind it was let's start with the wire right the wires it's real it's a real privilege to work with coaches great coaches or therapists all counselors it costs a lot of money the amount of times I get a phone call and my I set the business up with my twin brother Fabian the amount of times we get phone calls and someone says I can't afford it I'm so sorry and I'm like it's okay I didn't want I didn't want that to happen again I didn't I wanted we wanted to make coaching self-development not a privilege anymore and make it accessible for all safe space is 30 pounds a month working with a coach is 100 pounds a week minimum you know and so and so it gets to a point where he's like okay how do we make it accessible how do we how do we get world-class coaches amazing coaches so we have 12 to 14 at the moment we're signing two new coaches so we've got 14 coaches all delivering seminars on the platform for our members so and we have four to six seminars every single week so all around Mind Body spirituality business and relationships so that's what the whole all-in-one piece is right and the reason why we went all in one instead of more Niche to one thing or another thing is that we need to you need to have all five tapped into to live a balanced life right so let's talk about business purpose right purposes are say body body Health mind mindset self-esteem confidence right spirituality are you AFI enough peace time to breathe trying to focus are you sitting back and living in the present relationships what's your relationship with others relationship to self as soon as one of those Falls regardless if you are good to yourself good relationships good purpose if you were crap with your body you're gonna feel like you're not balanced in your life so we wanted to give people the accessibility to work with the world-class coaches and also have a community to do it with so people aren't alone anymore um so it's been an amazing journey um we're only a month in um we've got an amazing awesome Community the community meet once a week as well for a live Meetup session as well which means people are making friends uh business connections um working on themselves and then again working with Elite coaches for incredible value that's an amazing cause man amazing I mean that that's really impressive and you know it's something I've been thinking about recently it's kind of like a very simple little metaphor actually as well is um so if you think of like a a white circle and like a black outline or something or let's let's start with a black uh black circle inside of like a white circle in a sense you know and if you take the blackest like kind of the negative energy and just like the dark side almost if you want and then you know the light stuff is that is that that positive energy and stuff when you've you know when when you're looking for those things and you're looking for that positive energy from outside when you're not kind of in your core it's not coming from there to start with that's just you know you're always going to be vulnerable and you're always going to have these kind of problems and stuff and when you're kind of seeking seeking that good energy from outside and from you know Comfort stuff and comfort foods and you know other people and superficial things it's never going to make you truly happy but from what I've heard you know safe space kind of reverses that where you've got this kind of building blocks to make the inside of you really that positive energy and then that kind of builds its way out into everything around you right yeah there's also there's a loneliness epidemic at the moment people are struggling people feel lonely and it's because people aren't talking we're losing connection through the rise in technology as it continues to rise and people are struggling on their own because they're not talking so if you can give an outlet for people to be able to access a community to be able to check in with not feel so alone work on themselves in all areas of your life suddenly we're getting better see we all need to level up I've spoke about this the other day I constantly speak about this actually we all need to level up and get better in somewhere in life no one is perfect right that you're never going to be 10 out of 10 in all mind-body spirituality business and relationships there's going to be something that falls for me for you Louis for everyone and so why not work to be the best you can possibly be with the one chance you'd be given in life and um and so we're we're doing our best to to to be able to give our members who are loving it the the opportunity to do that uh there's also a seven day free trial as well on the platform for so people can try at no risk-free um and hopefully they stay on because they love it and if they don't they can they can leave um but yeah it's cool it's been a really it's you know what starting a business is is like nothing starting a tech business is like something I've never experienced in my life you know the logistics the joy of creating a subscription creating the platforms the memberships trying to trying to create something that people will really love and we've created something for our first product or something that we believe is is wonderful for people so that's great no I I had a friend who um you know a couple of years ago kind of post-covered sort of that time and you know it was really sort of against the whole therapy thing and kind of directed them towards actually giving it a go and you know they called up a couple of local therapists and stuff and they you know know the response was we are just fully booked unbelievable and you know that just breaks them and it just makes me sad because you know that person actually had the had the intent and the intention to heal and just couldn't find that locally and lost trust in that sort of thing you know thankfully they're doing great now but you know you look at you look at what you're doing and the other thing about therapies you know you met you you're touching it it's very expensive be you have to book in with these people it's not like they're going to be there for you 24 7. this is you know you've got to find the slot in amongst a ton of other people so you know it's really good work you're doing the manage and I just love to see something like that that's just available all the time and I hope more people get to uh get to experience it it looks great I appreciate conversely like it's it's uh it's been it's a lot it's going to be a long grinding journey to try and get people to hear about it and and to wave the safe space flag but honestly if like I said it's it's risk-free um anyone who's listened to this give it a go let's say space global.com UK and you can and you can see if it benefits you um and uh I've no doubt that it will because there's you know tonight you know just after this I'm taking a session on core values Tomorrow there's a breath work with one of our amazing breath work session um coaches on Wednesday there's uh Keys tips to uh building unbeatable confidence that what in the workplace so there's like loads of mix of different things you can tap into but also the community aspect we need a community helps you to thrive and be the best we spoke about that earlier didn't we the people around you and you know on just on the platform uh yesterday one one of the um ladies on there uh who's a member was struggling with something to do with their partner she wrote it in and she had 15 people straight away going it's okay do you want to talk about it do you want to jump on the phone I'm here for you and you're not alone we we shouldn't do it alone we weren't built to do it alone no animal is built to do it alone um and it's amazing how it's almost like it's still a taboo to talk about yourself and and be vulnerable and and I think it's time that we all start talking more yeah totally agree and you know it's it's slightly deep man but you know you you touched in it at the very beginning you said you kind of you were bullied a bit when you're a bit younger and everything and obviously then you had all that stuff at the social media hate you know have you have you have you found real self-benefit as well and seeing yourself create this community and actually have you kind of healed a bit of that that stuff from the past in the early years by seeing like the reverse of that now by kind of writing almost other people's wrongs oh I I did a lot of healing in my early 20s for sure um a lot of I came to London you know yeah I wanted to be a musician but wanting to make real friends um and yeah I look back at but you know what I don't look back at any of those moments that I was you know bullied badly and look back at them and actually with any regret or anger actually I actually am glad I went through them I I built up a resilience to be able to tackle a lot of things and realize actually I'm okay and and when you're a kid and you're bullied it can be pretty horrendous it can be it could feel like the end of the world sometimes um but it built this sort of outer layer that can sort of I feel like it can take and take on anything because of it um so I I fortunately I've found a place for it and the place that I've put that those younger years where I didn't feel accepted or good enough or worthy I put that in a box that goes you know what I've grown from it it's a lesson I think I everything is a lesson right we if you can look at your darkest times as a lesson and you can look at it as a learnings wow the perspective shift changes your your whole state but as soon as we go to victim in it and I know I I and if you're listening to this and you've been through real massive trauma I can I can understand that I work with a lot of clients who've been through really big trauma but if you can find any lessons in the trauma any lessons in the pain any learnings and things you've gained from it wow it can change your life why it can radically shift your perspective and actually you can let go of it more um and that's been the greatest thing for me yeah man my heart Smiles for you dude you're doing great you're thriving it's it's great to see um so you know we're kind of talking about the present but yeah let's look to the Future a bit so for the last kind of question what's your what's the mission now where where do you see safe space progressing Tim what is your kind of personal Direction now for yourself do you think good question well I I guess everything personal now is completely intertwined with safe space um it is my life my soul um like I said I set up with my twin brother Fabian we are um our mission is to make this uh to build safe space uh you know we want to launch it around the world it's very much a UK base even though we have we have a few members in Australia and a couple of members in America which is quite uh amazing and uh in Scotland as well we want to go to an app we want to have our own app so within a year and a bit we hope to move to the App Store and from then it can be in the fingertips for everyone um and just spread the word of safe space giving people a chance to to not be alone anymore and that's the biggest thing and wherever that takes us we know that we know that our mission is strong and our mission is to help people and so um essentially yeah I live living in the moment trying not to rush it it's very it's very it's interesting when you set something up how what should the balance between patience and impatience be it's like I want to be I want this now but then also at the same time you're gonna be like wait hold back you're doing okay and if you can find a really happy balance in between the two like my my brother Fabian he's impatient and I'm a bit more patient and I think I put him back a bit and he pulls me and we kind of sit in the Middle where we just because I think as long as you can still be grateful and like okay with how it's going but also be like it's still not good enough I think um I think that will drive you into a right place yeah yeah I think I think the balance is between trust the process and uh put some rocket boosters underneath this project as well so yeah it looks like you're kind of finding that that balance pretty well and the two brothers kind of thing that's just the yin and yang of the of the finding balance in your in your growth by the sounds of it so you've done well there dude um so obviously that's the question is done but the last thing um I just wanted to ask it for myself um I saw you did a 24-hour cycle just in your words how how Savage was that on this average scale yeah um it was pretty Savage I thought it would be mentally harder really weirdly I'd uh I don't know it was do you know what we had people around us a lot wow the pain in the bum and I I did my hamstring a bit the thing is we so we did it for mental health men's mental health charity um uh and uh called James's place which is um suicide and Men prevention and we had this big sign in front of us that was showed the stats and it showed it was their slogan for their charity and we had people around us a lot but in the middle of the night that was tough middle of the night when all I wanted to do was get off that bike and it hurt so much I would just look at that sign and be like no pain I'm going through right now will be as bad as someone who's trying to commit suicide and so we kept on reminding ourselves of that we kept ourselves um um we kept people kept on coming in we had a friend come at 4am and five for some really solid friends actually um but it was the mission behind it this it comes back to it Louie doesn't it it's like if your mission's great enough you'll find discipline to do it and so knowing that it was going to end the funny yeah it was it was Savage scale seven eight for sure um having a clock I maybe wouldn't do it again because we had a countdown timer and when you get to like you've done eight hours and you've still got 16 hours to go

that was just the most that was brutal that was psychological that um I definitely wouldn't do it again because it really it really uh [ __ ] my sleep patterns up oh my God I was just exhausted for a while I think it's very very deadly for you to try and stay away for 24 hours um but thanks for asking it was a cool experience I want to do something a bit more I want to do something um as extreme um but maybe not where I have to stay awake for 24 hours yeah I feel you man so sleep schedule A and B problem also but has still not resume normal shape kind of thing the butt is still healing months later we had so much padding we had we had a padding for the the seat we had a padding in the actual trout shorts we were wearing but still it was it was more comfortable to climb and just be out of the saddle because of that pain I love it thanks for asking it was a cool experience no worries no I can I can imagine um it's there's that gray area between where you're kind of like you're just before halfway you're like an hour or two before halfway and it's really sucking so it's like we're not even halfway there yet and it's just this bad so I can imagine that's like where it's just oh no kind of thing yeah it helped having someone to do it with um I I did it with with Fabian um but it's a cool feeling getting through something like that because it it proves to you that you've got this like it's just tapping into the resilience thing it's like every time Lou you got you went to the sign go to the gym it's like you're in your head you're like I'm showing up I'm showing up I'm showing up and then when you go through the you know the gym is represents represents a lot doesn't it represents pain you have to go through and effort when you go through something really tough it it makes you so proud of yourself you're like oh I'm actually capable I'm actually I can do hard things and so like you said there's byproduct of the things of the fact that you went to the gym you took that into the other parts of your life it makes you start realizing I can do more than I thought it was because we all have this like with this natural sort of ceiling to our limitations but how many of us should probably just blow that ceiling up a little bit more yeah um so yeah for sure if anyone could do anything that's really tough and prove to themselves they can do it book that Marathon you know do that thing that's really tough because you'll learn so much about yourself damn right yeah climb that mountain get it done um well looks like we've we've timed this really well so um like last thing then before you wrap this up so uh Shameless plug moment then so Julius um you know feel free to take a minute and just promote everything you're working on you know your websites your social media and stuff and just where you can send my people to go and find all your cool stuff uh super kind of you um safespace global.com UK is the website uh for safe space there's a seven day free trial uh and they have a chance to access incredible coaches at amazing value and even if you stay on it's only 30 pounds a month so we we've yeah we're really pumped about it that's all I can really plug really that's if you want to find me on social media yeah I'm Julius cowdry they're not many Julius around um but but essentially yeah I've Loved look Louie I've Loved chatting um if anyone has got anything from this in terms of just like any benefits awesome you know it's been a great chat I've enjoyed it definitely yeah great stuff um yeah all I can say glist is just yeah thank you so much for joining me today for the talk for podcast honestly absolute pleasure having you on it's been a a true true honor thank you man thank you so much guys yeah and thank you for listening this has been episode 85 and if you'd like to listen to our past episodes gonna have a look at our Channel and if you'd like to listen in for the future ones make sure to hit that subscribe button and spread some love by leaving a like and a comment it's a baking day here in the UK my window is shut and I'm steaming hot so I'm gonna go find some dinner and a nice cold shower and sign off for now see you guys next time

Julius cowdreyTalk4

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